Mama Said

There'd be days like this...

A few days ago, I had one of "those" days. Sometimes they come few and far between. Other times they come much too frequently. Let me lay out the scene:

It was 15 minutes before Michael was due home. Somehow, I had inadvertently given him the impression that I had "done alot of work" around the house. If work counted as getting the dishes halfway done and keeping the kids alive, that was a true statement. However, that was not how he interpreted it. So he was excited about coming home to a nice clean house. Which was NOT the condition it was in, to say the least.

While I was busy handing out directives on what the boys could do to help, Nathan got into Molly's water bowl and spilled water everywhere. While I was cleaning it up, I realized I had forgotten to stir dinner and it was probably sticking (or burning) to the bottom of the pot. Then Joel started crying from downstairs, and Ezra, trying to vacuum the stairs, had a vacuum malfunction, spilling the entire contents all over the landing. I laid a rag over the spilled water, gave a quick stir to my stuck dinner, told Joel he must be alright if he's still able to be crying, and got out my vacuum to get the stair mess cleaned.

While I vacuumed up the mess, I became overwhelmed, as yet more chaos ensued. Nathan was positive he wanted to climb on the vacuum, or at least touch the fun spinny things inside, Ezra and Isaac were arguing, Joel had forgotten his task and was asking me 101 questions, however, they all happened to be the exact same question.

I began to cry. I called out to the Lord -"WHAT Lord?! I want to live my life to glorify you, and I know THIS certainly isn't accomplishing that! Jesus never fought with a vacuum and was such a helpless failure! There has got to be something else You must be calling me to. I'm certainly no good at this and how can that be serving You?!"

The crying ended, everyone was back on track, and I reflected on my moment. I turned to the Word, His wonderful source of Truth. I read about how Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve. I read about how God wants me to become like Him, dieing to myself, as He laid down His life for me. I read of His love for children, for families, His desire that His Word be carried on through generations. And I remember His purpose for me. Of course, Jesus never fought with a vacuum. He fought with so much more. For me. For my children, and my husband. For all of those that I come in contact with, in real life, or through this blog.

How am I serving Him? By serving my family. By laying down "my life" at His feet, at their feet. By loving the ones He's given me, and teaching them how to love Him and the rest of the world he created, as well. By showing His love, His mercy, His tenderness... even through the chaos and the stress. Is it a great and glorious task? Not glorious to me! But glorious to Him! I may not be a big huge person in ministry or in the mission field or evangelizing. But I have a calling to become like Him. To lay down my life for others, and to love. This is my calling.

Its a beautiful thing to know His peace, even if it takes days like this to find it.