Wordless Wednesday - Us

Treasures of September

Freedom at Sonlight Blog

When the Gentle Words Won't Come {Hope for the Weary Mom} at MOB Society

What Our Husband Needs More than Sex at Ordinary Inspirations

Raising Kids is Heart Work at Family Matters Blog

From The Better Mom:

• There Are Rats In My Cellar 
• Battling Toxic Perfectionism
• The Stranger in my Living Room

Abundant Grace and Teaching Moments at Preschoolers and Peace

Heart Talk at (in)courage

The Tunnel of Parenthood at One More Soul

Taking the Fear Out of Your Year at Heart of the Matter Online

10 Things to Do Every Day to Stay Organized at Organizing Your Way

Homeschool Blindspots at JoshHarris.com (I have loved Reb Bradely's ministry, Family Ministries, forever - he and his wife have blessed me tremendously through their teachings!)

From Smockity Frocks:

• How to Stay Married 25+ Years
• Do You Have 5 Loaves and 2 Fish?

Clarfying our Ministry as Moms at Encouraging Moms who Homeschool

Calm in a Storm:  How to Stay Peaceful while Childrearing at Ladies Against Feminism

A Few Introductions at Parenting Post (Parenting.com)

Ask Auntie Leila:  How Do I Tell People We're Having Another Baby? at Like Mother, Like Daughter

Does Peeling an Orange Exhaust You? at Wizzley

The Ripple Effect of One Grumpy Woman at True Woman

From Raising Arrows:

• Do You Like Your Children?  Do They Know It?
• Homeschooling with Joy 

Ungraceful Parenting at Femina


Magnifying God's Glory through My Weakness at Doorposts of Your Home

Are You Raising Warriors or Refugees? at I Take Joy

Seven Quick Takes Friday - Volume 11

I didn't do any Quick Takes in August, so I have to start out with a little celebration!  Ezra turned 9 last month!  It was a very fun day, as Michael surprised him by taking the day off so they could spend some one-on-one Daddy/Son time.  He tries to fit in a special day with each of the boys on their birthdays, but usually it has to wait for the weekend.  It's a fun tradition that they all look forward to and makes their birthdays even more wonderful for them.  Here's the happy birthday boy!

His presents consisted of a new Disc Golf disc, and legos galore. He said it was the "best birthday EVER!" but I think he says that every year! 

And of course, in the last month, Rachel passed her 7 month marker!  She's starting to think about crawling - she can get to hands and knees pretty quickly, but is still figuring out what to do other than rock back and forth.  She'll be getting it soon, I can tell!  She wants to be on the go!  It also seems like she's getting a tooth in... there's been a lot of swelling, bubble blowing, and more nighttime wakings, so it seems like it is on the verge of popping out!  She's also started solids - she isn't all that interested, however, so I'm just taking it slow and letting her have fun with it.  She likes the spoon more than the food on the spoon!

Rachel's first time on the swing!

I wanted to share some beautiful handiwork made by my friend, Amy.  She hand makes custom picture frames, and they are goregous!  Here's the one she made for Rachel - I gave her free reign to do what she wanted, and it was absolutely perfect.  I'm still having trouble deciding what picture I want to use in it!

And here's one she did for Judah when he was born!

You can see more of her handiwork at her blog!  These make wonderful gifts, for all sorts of occasions!

Check out this super cool video!  It's really awesome, and convinces me ever more so that life was truly created with such intricacy and detail by an incredible creative and amazing God!

This week, we finally finished up the last of Sonlight's Core D!  We had finished it a little unevenly, as we got ahead of schedule in some areas and behind in others... but now everything is complete!  It was a great year, and I love Sonlight as much as I did when we first started, a little over a year ago.  We're going to take a week to get organized and then we move onto Core E!

I have to confess, my "getting up early and exercising" progress has fallen totally to the wayside.  A number of circumstances (including a loss of air conditioning for 2 weeks, followed by house guests for another week) really threw me off. So I'm a little nervous about getting back into my running plan and seeing how far behind I've fallen.  Will I have to start from scratch again?  I guess there's only one way to find out... and that's to just give it a go!  I'm mentally preparing myself to get on the ball starting next week.  I'll also admit that I'm not totally excited about it!  But I know that I always feel better when I'm making that time.

This weekend, our marriage will be hitting it's teenage years!  Sunday we will celebrate 13 years!  God has certainly brought us through many ups and downs, and we've (literally) grown up together as we've grown closer to Him.  I am thankful beyond what I can express for Michael and his love and leadership!

Here we are on that day!

And here we are at wedding, just last week:

(Michael was the best man in a cowboy-themed wedding, hence the hat!)

Boy, do the years fly by!

7 Quick Takes Friday - Volume 10

We have our first edible fruit!  That's always so exciting to me!  There are lots more on their way, too!  It's been a rough summer - lots of high, high heat and little rain.  Some days we've had to water the plants twice a day!  But it looks as if the work is paying off!

And, we have a baby watermelon!!

A few weeks ago we went swimming at a lake.  When I grew up, I lived in New Hampshire, where no one had a pool - if we wanted to go swimming, we either hiked through the woods to find a swimming hole, or swam at a few nearby lakes or quarries.  It was so much fun, and most of my fondest teenage memories center around those times.  Where we live now, though, most swimming is done in concrete pits with chlorine! So it was nice to leave suburbia with the kids and take them swimming in something natural!

Despite the concrete chlorine pits, I actually love where I live.  We're in an older subdivision, so we have a decent-sized yard, and we're on a cul-de-sac, so it's nice and quiet.  However, everything I need is soooo close.  Dentist?  3 minutes.  Pediatrician? 2 minutes.  Any and all types of shopping?  Within 15 minutes or so.  And, we recently found out that there's a proposal to put a small grocery store on the main road at the top of our subdivision.  We're going and voting YES! to that - I think it's awesome!  I could actually *walk* to the store!  How quaint! ;-)

I know lots of people dream of country life, and while I do believe in it's benefits, I think I love being a suburbanite!

I mentioned in my scheduling post that Michael is the one in charge of going over the big kids' work in the evenings.  He uses those nifty assignment sheets I posted about a while ago (they're working out great, by the way).  One night, after he had finished with the boys, I went to tidy up, and this is what I came across:

Click to see the writing around the border a little better!

Is there more proof needed that he's smitten?  It reminded me of a love-struck kid!  I love how much he loves her.

In order to try to carve out more time for eachother in our busy lives, Michael and I have agreed to have three nights a week with NO technology on once the kids go to bed.  No computer, no iPhone, no movies...  It has been

WONDERFUL!!!!

I am seriously loving it.  We're able to catch up with eachother, spend some time in the Word and in prayer, play a game or two, and connect in... other ways...  all things that are really beneficial to our relationship.  They're like having mini-date nights right at home!  It is one of the best things we've done for our relationship, and I am so glad we agreed to give it a try.

Judah continues to be my music-lover.  One day I was putting him into his carseat, and he said "I love this song!  It's my favorite!".  I hadn't turned on the car yet, so I was confused about what he was talking about.  I asked him "What song?" and he said "The bird's song!"

It melted my heart!

This upcoming week is a bittersweet one for us, as we say goodbye to some of our closest friends.  God is taking them on a journey of which they can't see the outcome, but their faith through it all has been such an inspiration and a blessing!  We're excited to see where He's leading them, but a little sad for ourselves, too, because we'll miss them so much!  Good friends are such a gift!

Nathan and their girls

A Song for Saturday

I came across this song and video at Divine Calling, and fell in love with it! Its like he's singing our song... after almost 12 years of marriage, Michael and I have definitely danced through our share of minefields - some self-imposed, some just a part of life. But through it all, God's promises have kept us together, and made us stronger than ever. I am so thankful for my marriage!

Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus:
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for

Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

Chorus:
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for
That’s what the promise is for

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus:
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise if for
That’s what the promise is for

A Review - Voices of the True Woman Movement, Chapter 1

I was sent the book "Voices of the True Woman Movement: A Call to the Counter-Revolution" to review, chapter by chapter, here on my blog.

I just finished Chapter One, entitled "The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood" by John Piper, and thought it was an excellent way to begin a book dealing with the issues of Biblical womanhood in today's world. I've mentioned before how I love John Piper's way with words, how well he puts everything into its proper perspective of our position in Christ and with an aim to glorify Him, and this chapter didn't let me down!

Dr. Piper takes a brief but thorough look at what it means to be a woman in Christ, whether married or single, and what God's ultimate purpose in creating man and woman differently was. I think that aspect is really important to remember, especially in this current culture where the lines of masculinity and femininity are blurred at the least, and often attempted to be eradicated completely. Here are a few quotes that stood out to me as I read:

Wimpy theology makes wimpy women.... Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ.

....He created us as male and female precisely so that we could display the glory of His Son.

I thought his point here really summed up the purpose of womanhood in Christ:

This means that if you try to reduce womanhood to physical features and biological functions, and then determine your role in the world merely on the basis of competencies, you don't just miss the point of womanhood, you diminish the glory of Christ in your own life. True womanhood is indispensable in God's purpose to display the fullness of the glory of His Son. Your distinctive female personhood is not incidental. It exists because of its God-designed relationship to the central event of history, the death of the Son of God.

So many people, even within the church, try to push the feminist mentality of "Men and women are the same" but that's just not the way it is in God's design and purpose! We're distinctly different because each gender brings its own glory to God IN their uniqueness-es, not despite of them!

A quote for married women that I was encouraged by:

....if you.... married women.... embrace the truth that your womanhood, true womanhood, is uniquely and indispensably created by God to display the glory of His Son in the way you relate to your husband, you will have a calling of infinite significance.

Wow! What a perspective that puts on the day-to-day life of being a wife! What a challenge and an encouragement, all in one!

And for single ladies, he had some wonderful points, as well:

A life of Christ-exalting singleness bears witness that....

....the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ....

....relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families....

....marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing to all along: Christ and the church...

(of course, he backs all of these points up with further commentary, but I can't copy the whole chapter here, lol!)

With that kind of opening to this book, I am really looking forward to delving in deeper and seeing what other gems of encouragement and inspiration there are to be found! My review for Chapter 2 will be coming up soon!

"A Woman's Rules to Live By"

I don't know who originally wrote these, but I came across them at At the Well... In Pursuit of Titus 2, and wanted to share! In my Small Group we're studying "
Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets them Free" and we just finished Chapter 6, "Lies Women Believe about Marriage". While I have been determined to walk and grow in the truth of God's Word about my role as a helpmeet, I still struggle in the flesh frequently. So this reminder list is great to peek at every so often. Or every day. Or several times a day. ;-)

1. Overlook the husband's faults and instead, focus on his better side.

2. Never nag or try to manipulate your husband into doing things your way.

3. Trust God and trust your husband. Pray for him daily.

4. God first, husband second, children third, house fourth.

5. Submit to your husband's authority and allow errors in his judgement.

6. Allow him to provide for the family, and appreciate the money he brings in and the provisions he provides for the family, no matter how little or how much.

7. Spend your husband's hard earned money wisely and be frugal. Never sneak expenses behind his back.

8. Do not wound his masculine pride. Instead, compliment him on his manly accomplishments, and show your appreciation of him every day.

9. A modest, feminine appearance is important. As is feminine manner, nature, softness, gentleness and a spirit of sweet submission and dependency on the husband.

10. You have a God given career that can bless you abundantly. That career is your home.

11. Cook delicious healthy meals, keep the home clean and take wonderful, loving care of your children.

12. Your duty is to be a "homemaker," hence, your job is to make your house a home.

13. Above all, the wife at home is to exude an attitude of happiness and joy. Rejoice in the Lord for the wonderful family He has provided for you and never take your family for granted.

Submission

I'm currently reading "This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence" by John Piper. It's a very good discussion on what marriage is really designed to be and what the focus of marriage is - namely, marriage is designed to be a picture of Christ and His church, and the focus of marriage, just as anything in a Christian's life, should be to glorify the Lord.

I just finished reading the chapter on wifely submission, and there were some wonderful points Piper made that I wanted to share. The chapter on submission is a discussion of 1 Peter 3:1-6:

"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. "

Since the Lord changed my heart about submission, this has been one of my favorite verses. It helps me to remember that regardless of Michael's walk with the Lord, it is always my responsibility before God to honor Michael as my leader and head of our family, and that rather than nagging, making sure my conduct as a Christian woman is appropriate (loving and serving with a cheerful spirit, praying faithfully, encouraging, remaining humble and submitted, and so on) is so much more effective in regards to assisting change I might hope to see in him. Also, most importantly, it reminds me not to fear being submitted - I think that is the most difficult thing, especially for women in general in this era of feminism and "me first" thinking.

Here is Piper's description of a Christian woman according to 1 Peter 3:

"A Christian woman does not put her hope in her husband, or in getting a husband. She does not put her hope in her looks or her intellegence or her creativity. She puts her hope in the promises of God. She is described in Proverbs 31:25: "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." She laughs at everything the future could bring because she hopes in God.

She looks away from the troubles and miseries and obstacles of life that seem to make the future bleak, and she focuses her attention on the sovereign power and love of God who rules in heaven and does on earth whatever He pleases (Psalm 115:3). She knows her Bible, and she knows her theology of the sovereignty of God, and she knows His promise that He will be with her and will help her and strengthen her no matter what. This is the deep, unshakable root of Christian womanhood."

He then goes on to list a few points about what submission is NOT:

1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar.
3. Submission does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband.
4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
5. Submission does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength primarily through her husband.
6. Submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear.

Then he sums up with an excellent, brief summary describing what submission is:

"...submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts."

Ultimately, Piper's point is, since marriage was created to be a parable of the relationship between Christ and His church, when we as wives are demonstrating the kind of submissiveness the church should demonstrate to Christ, we are giving an example to the world (and the rest of the church) how to serve and honor Christ, who laid down His life to redeem us. We are being witnesses, not just through our words, but through our very life - which is a much more powerful witness than just words, anyway!

I'm really enjoying this book. It has several chapters regarding a husband's headship, as well, that were also excellent, and chapters that I haven't yet gotten to regarding singleness, intimacy, childbearing and raising, and divorce. I'm looking forward to making my way through those chapters as well!

Love on that Man!

During the time that we got to spend with Jeff, Becca's husband, I was taught alot about what a love between a husband and wife should be. Jeff talked all the time about how Becca adored him, made him feel so special, and so deeply loved. And I know it was all true, because I know that was how Becca was - love overflowing. It really made me sit back and reflect on what my husband might say about the way I love him. He wouldn't grumble, and I know that he does feel loved... but I began to question myself - do I know that I love him with abandon? Do I adore him, cherish him, make him feel like he is the most precious thing on this earth to me? And I am ashamed to say... no! I have come a long way in the areas of respect and submission (and still have a way to go in those areas!)... but my expression of affection is very halting. I am fearful in my love, reserved and selfish. Toward my husband - the ONE very person created just for me to give myself over to and love completely!

Titus 2:4 instructs older women to teach the younger to "love their husbands and children"... and the interesting thing is the word used for "love" there is "philandros" - which specifically refers to a "friendship, companion" type of love. That has a different implication than the loyal, serving kind of love that I often associate with being a wife - and while of course that type of love has its need in a marriage, so, obviously, does a friendship love. When I think of a friendship type of love, I think of one that is playful, joyous, giving with a willingness and cheerfulness... filled with laughter, flirtatiousness, a desire to please, a longing to enjoy the other person fully, and to bring them joy in everything. Selfless, almost reckless love!

Through Jeff's stories, I saw how foolish it is to withhold this type of love from my husband. What is the point? Our time together will be too short, whether it be 10 years or 75... why waste those years loving reservedly? Do I really want to leave doubt in my husband's mind regarding how deep my love and desire for him really go? Furthermore, if the earthly marriage relationship is supposed to be an example of the relationship between Christ and the church, does Christ want His bride to be withholding from Him - too cautious and caught up in self-protection to allow Him to be united fully with them? So, then, what kind of example am I setting in my marriage?

My only conclusion is that I most certainly should be giving more of myself - ALL of myself - to my husband, and doing everything in my power to LOVE on him and really, truely treasure him - and show it openly! I will ask his (and the Lord's) forgiveness for holding back my affection, and through God's love within me, allow it to overflow to him, and let go of the fears that have held me back for too long. That man of mine is too precious for me not to let him know I think so!

Fireproof

Remember the movie Fireproof I reviewed a few months ago? Great news! It is now out on DVD for buying or renting! To celebrate the release of this excellent marriage movie, Vision Forum is offering a promotion. Not only do they have everything they offer on sale, but with every order over $100, you get a FREE copy of Fireproof - the Special Collector's Edition DVD! This edition includes outtakes, a Bible Study, and a behind the scenes look at the making of the movie. Let me tell you, it is easy to find enough items you'll like that will add up to $100, and the sale prices make it all the more fun to shop ;-) If you want to check it out, click on the banner below! But hurry, the promotion ends January 31!

Books

I apologize for being quiet for so long! The Lord has kept me busy with quite a few other things lately, so I just haven't had time to post much. I hope to catch up soon! One of the ways I've been spending my time is by reading a few books. I have always loved reading, so when I am reading, its usually several books at one time. I'll leave one by my bedstand for nighttime, one in the bathroom for when I need a break, and a few others scattered about the house for when the kids go to bed and Michael and I will snuggle on the couch and read together.

The four books I've been working through (other than Preparing for Puppy type books) are Hind's Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard, The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, The Sword and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson, and God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation by Andreas Kostenberger. I highly recommend EACH one! They've been such a blessing to read.

"Hind's Feet in High Places" is an awesome allegory. It has taken me the longest to read, because after each chapter, I really have to sit back and reflect on what it was about, and what it demonstrated about God's character, or about my character toward God. Its been a beautiful journey and I'm not even done yet!

"The Hiding Place" was so moving. I cried throughout the book, and when I finished it as well. The faith that was shown through the incredible persecution that people were under, and the way the God used the suffering of people to help others was so amazing! It made me realize how easy of a life we have it here, and pray that my faith and hope in the Lord can ever be as strong in the face of persecution.

"The Sword and the Switchblade" was another huge faith builder. It was incredible to read of the ways God moved, often at times in ways that were hard to understand when they first happened, but the ultimate fruit borne was no doubt the Lord workings. What a mighty God!

"God, Marriage, and Family" is a different type of book, as it designed to be a study, and the others where personal testimonies or examples of one. However, its a VERY extensive study that I am enjoying very much and would recommend this book to both singles and married people alike, as understanding the way marriage and family are to reflect the teachings and character of God is such an important aspect of understanding Him and serving Him better!

All of these books, except for "God, Marriage, and Family", were readily available at my local library (the Marriage book was a birthday gift from my sister :-) ) so please search yours and see if they are available for you, too! They are too good to miss! If you have any books you'd highly recommend, please let me know, as I am looking for more to devour!!

My Work

I came across this sweet poem on "A Wife and Mother by His Grace and for His Glory..." and wanted to share!

My Work

I have the greatest work in the world;
The job of rocking a baby to sleep,
That of guiding his tottering feet,
A baby's clothes to launder and fold,
A precious life to shape and mold,
A drink to give from a little cup,
At night his toys to gather up,
Hurts to heal and fears to quell,
A baby to keep clean and well,
A stack of diapers to put,
Oh, what a happy worthwhile day!
I am a "Mother."

I have the greatest work in to world;
A husband to encourge when things go wrong,
When he comes from work to greet with a song,
Denims and shirts to wash and mend,
A helping hand, when needed, to lend,
Three times a day is meals to cook,
To strive to be my best to look,
His back to rub at the close of the day,
For his faithfulness to God I pray,
When hubby's in the field I take lemonade,
for all these tasks his love has Paid.
I am a " Wife."

I have the greatest work in the world;
A home to keep happy, clean and bright,
Make things go smooth and strive for the right,
Jams to cook and jellies to make,
Cookies and pies and bread to bake,
Washing, ironing, and sewing to do,
So many tasks, will I ever get though?
Lettuce to wash and peas to pick,
floors to scrub, lost items to seek,
Dishes to wash and windows to shine,
These and many more tasks are mine.
I am a "Homemaker."

Help me, Father, to faithfully work,
Forgive if I unconsciously shirk,
give me the patience and love I pray,
To keep myself in duties way;
With all the hustle that each day brings
May I not neglect the needing things;
Each day to spend time alone with Thee
That Jesus Christ be seen in me.
Thank you for husband, our home, our boys;
Thank you for love which brings me much joy.
Thank you , Lord.

-Mary Lou Burkholder

The Heart of Things

I have confessed before how homemaking is a struggle for me. I am not, naturally, nor was I taught to be, a "Susie Homemaker". I have had to learn the large majority of my domestic skills (the few I have) through "on-the-job training". I know how to clean... but the motivation is often lacking. I know the basics of menu planning, frugal shopping, cooking, and time management, but could devote myself to doing much better. I don't know much at all about decorating, sewing, or other activities that could serve to make my house much more homey and welcoming, but often think it wouldn't be worth the effort to learn. Much of the time, I do simply what needs to be done to get by, instead of understanding that this sphere of home is part of my ministry to my family and others.

The Lord is always faithful, however, in gently leading His sheep where He wants them. Over the past few weeks, He's been showing me the areas in which I've been lacking. Not through crippling condemnation, but gentle tugs here and there on my heart, struggles that pop up occasionally caused specifically by my lack of organization or cleanliness, comments from my sweet ones, through His Word, and through the words of other Godly women, as well.

One of these that really hit my heart was a recent broadcast on the topic of being a Titus 2 woman by Nancy Leigh DeMoss at Revive Our Hearts. The entire transcript can be found here, but these are the parts that really stood out to me and convicted me. It started out with Nancy speaking about an email she received from a friend who had been through some struggles directly related to her lack of having a heart for home, so the first part is quoted from that. The words in red the ones that went straight to my heart! Oh, the truth of them was stinging! But the change His truth brings about in the heart is worth the humbling. While my flesh so often fights against it, it really is so freeing to surrender and grab hold of God's vision and purpose for me as a woman!

...

I have to tell you that even though I have been at home now for over a year, I am again struggling with the homemaker’s role. I am ashamed to say that I am not doing as well in this area as I should be. I have sensed the Lord’s tug at my heart on this issue for quite some time, and your call has finally bought it to a head.

I see the issue is not about any false thinking I was led to believe as a young girl, or my lack of a proper role model, or any criticism I received. The issue is my heart toward my Savior. My heart has stopped desiring to serve and please Jesus.

That is the crux of the issue, ladies. When it comes to homemaking, it’s not how skillful a cook you are or how skillful a seamstress you are. It’s the heart for serving and pleasing Jesus—and doing that in the context of a home so that you can bless and encourage primarily your own family, but also others from the base of your home.

...

This is not to say you have to love cleaning toilets, and making lunches for your family every day of the year. Anything that is that routine can get old. In the next character quality we’re going to look at, we’re going to see what helps keep that joy fresh and alive. What helps keep the heart alive in the midst of so many routine and mundane aspects of homemaking?

I don’t want to romanticize something that is just plain hard work and being faithful. The same thing is true of your husband’s job in many points. In my experience, any job has about 70-80 percent grunt work. And then you get the rest of it, which is the glory, the benefits, and the happy moments.

It’s the shaping of character. Since Genesis 3, we work—and we work with thorns, thistles, and hard labor because of the fall. But we do these things in light of a redeeming God who makes work something of worth and an act of worship.

...

Now I want to paint for us in very broad and brief strokes a portrait of a woman all of us are familiar with, a woman who is working at home. You know her as the Proverbs 31 woman.

I want to take just a few moments to read through a portion of that passage and then to make a few comments about it. Those of you who’ve been with us for a while know that we’ve taught through Proverbs 31 and taken several weeks to do that in the past. That series, called The Counter-cultural Woman, is available through our resource center.

But I want, in just a few minutes here, to give you a bird’s-eye view of this passage—and for us to see some of the qualities and characteristics of a woman who is faithful in working at home.

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So let me read this passage, Proverbs 31, beginning in verse 10:

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life (verses 10-12).

The rest of the passage is a description of how she does that. How does she do him good and not harm every day? What is it that she does to live out her life in such a way that he knows he can trust her? What is it that makes her an excellent wife? How do you flesh out the details?

As I continue reading beginning in verse 13, note what are some of the enduring qualities—not so much the specific tasks, but the enduring qualities that they represent in this woman?

She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it (verses 13-16).

By the way, some of these phrases are such that the evangelical feminist movement has made the Proverbs 31 woman an icon for the evangelical feminist position. If you’ll get our Proverbs 31 series on The Counter-cultural Woman, you’ll hear me go phrase by phrase though this passage, and you can see that this woman is primarily a domestic woman. She is a keeper at home. She’s a worker at home.

Verse 16: “With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.” Then skip down to verse 18: “She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle” (verses 18-19). There’s a lot in this passage about her working with her hands; it’s an honorable thing.

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant” (verses 21-24).

Look down at verse 27: “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” That’s really a key verse here; that’s at the heart of this. In doing these tasks, she’s not trying to win the “homemaker of the year” award. She’s looking well to the ways of her household. In order to do that, she has to be diligent.

Verse 30: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain”—it’s fleeting; it’s empty; it’s shallow; it doesn’t last—“but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (verses 30-31).

Just a few observations—and these are things you’re familiar with, but let me restate them. I think they matter for us, as women trying to be Titus 2 women.

Notice, first of all, where is her husband? He’s in the gates among the elders in the land. He is the one who is involved—and you can read this in the first part of Proverbs 31—in justice issues, in the making of laws, and as a breadwinner for the family. He is in the gates.

Where is the woman primarily? Where is her focus and her base of operations? It’s in and around her home and the family estate. This woman assumes responsibility for the practical care and needs of her husband and her children.

Now that doesn’t mean that the husband is not engaged at all in those things. It doesn’t mean if he uses the vacuum cleaner or puts the dishes in the dishwasher that there’s anything wrong with that. But it means she assumes primary responsibility for the management of the home and its affairs.

You see in this woman—and I think this is one of the things that makes her so beautiful—that she lives an others-centered life. She’s got a servant’s heart.

You see a woman who plans ahead. She knows winter is coming, and she doesn’t get caught off-guard. By the way, there’s a beautiful picture there of women preparing their children for the ultimate winter of God’s judgment and making sure that they are clothed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ—that they are spiritually prepared for hard times, for suffering, and for the ultimate judgment of God.

But just practically speaking, she doesn’t get caught off-guard. Her family is going to have clothes to take them through that season. You moms know that takes time. You see a woman here whose priorities are in order, whose life is in order.

You almost wonder if this is too perfect a picture. Did she ever have days when everything was off-kilter? Of course she did. But her priorities and her life were in order, and that made things fall together better.

You see a woman who has time-management skills, who knows how to use her time wisely. You see a woman who is not lazy. She’s working long days, long hours, late at night and early in the morning. She’s willing to do that because it’s part of her calling.

It was part of my calling last night to be up late and to be up again early this morning getting ready for this session. I don’t love going on four and a half hours of sleep, and I don’t think that’s a thing that God intends for us to do on a regular basis.

But there are seasons of a woman’s life when—whether it’s a newborn, a nursing baby, sick children, or studying for Revive Our Hearts—you do what it takes. And you can do it with a glad heart, with a surrendered heart, and without resentment if you know that this is part of God’s calling for your life. If it’s God’s calling, then you know He gives you grace for whatever He calls you to do.

She’s a woman who is diligent, not lazy. She’s organized. This can make women who are known as “messies,” as we’ve heard it said, feel very defeated, very discouraged.

Let me just say that some women are more naturally wired to be administrative, to be organizational, and some are more creative and artistic. There are different personalities; there’s no sin in that.

But if you need help becoming more orderly and organized and fulfilling these responsibilities, don’t be too proud to ask. Go to an older woman or a woman who has those particular gifts and say, “Would you help me in getting some of this mess in our house organized, or my time structured?”

There are people who’ve been further down the road and can give hints and tips—not so you can have a perfectly ordered life, but so your life can represent the order and the beauty of who God is and of the gospel.

Here’s a woman who has financial management and budgeting skills. She’s not going to drive her family into debt. She’s thrifty; she’s frugal. Her work in the home is generating income as a result of her creativity, her diligence, and her hard work. She looks for good deals. She doesn’t spend money she doesn’t have, and she’s content with what God provides.

What a huge difference would that make in many of our lives. What’s it all rooted in? She’s a woman who fears the Lord. She has a reverential awe of God. She does this for Him. This is not for self. This is not for looking good. This is not for comparison.

Don’t we women tend to compare? We look at others and think, “Oh, she makes it look so easy, and my life is so . . .” Don’t compare your life to somebody else’s. Just say, “Lord, I want to be a woman who fears You, who loves You with all my heart, and who lives out the mandate of the gospel for me to be working at home and fulfilling my home responsibilities.”

Particularly women who are wives and mothers, but all of us need to say, “Lord, how can I reflect Your creativity, Your skill and orderliness, and Your beauty in the way that I practice this virtue of domesticity?”

It’s a privilege, and it’s a way that we as women can serve the Lord and others.

Two Must-See Movies!

I promised I'd come back and give you my thoughts on Fireproof, and I will do so in the next paragraph, but first I wanted to mention another movie (documentary) I saw over the weekend. It is called"The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women" (or just "The Monstrous Regiment of Women" for short). I had noticed when this movie first came out, but had not been aware that it was available on Netflix! Once Christine at Lily of the Valley mentioned she had gotten it, I immediately put it into my queue. I was not disappointed. It is an excellent documentary on the development, goals, and progression of the feminist movement, and something I think needs to be shown in churches everywhere! The deception of feminism is running rampant in the Christian world - as one of the ladies featured said (I am paraphrasing, I can't recall it word for word) "So many women would say "But I'm not a feminist!", yet they live the very life feminism has pushed for." Michael, who was not exactly interested in watching a documentary on feminism, by the end, was glad he did. I have, at times, been considered judgmental or overly opinionated about my beliefs, but there are very, very strong reasons I believe as I do - Biblically, socially, politically, and morally - and this movie is very good at explaining why and what the dangers are when we choose to go outside God's original design. I *highly* recommend it!

As for Fireproof - I had very high hopes and was not disappointed! It was so, so good. I would go see it again today if I could, lol! The acting was just fine - so many people worry about the quality of acting in "amateur" movies, but I only noticed a very few scenes that were a bit wooden. The message and the journey the movie takes the viewer on far surpasses any "amateur" status. The troubled marriage was very realistic - the attitudes, problems, frustrations, hurts, confusions, temptations... all of it was something that anyone who has been married can relate to, and it was not watered down or made little of. There were also some very genuinely (not cheesy) funny parts, as well as a few heart pounding scenes. Overall, a great date movie with a wonderfully purposeful message!

What I'll say next might "give away" some of the story, so don't read if you don't want to know!

The aspect Michael and I decided we liked best about it was the fact that, while both the husband and wife were in the wrong, it was only one who came to true repentance and determined to really change themselves - it didn't focus on changing the other person. It boiled down to changing oneself, taking responsibility for YOUR part in a marriage, instead of pointing the finger and saying "but they...." And it was demonstrated that it is impossible to change and to really, truly love someone without the salvation and love of Christ. The salvation message presented was beautiful, and so convicting! Michael and I had our fair share of tears throughout the movie ;-)

I want to buy this movie for every married couple I know, lol! But since I can't afford that (and it will be awhile before its available on DVD, I think?)... I just will tell everyone - GO SEE IT! It will be well worth the two hours you spend together! :-)

Join Me!

In light of my last post, I have been doing an online study regarding Biblical Wifehood, on Proverbs 31. I'm having to catch-up because I only ran across it this week, but I'm enjoying it so far. Join me in delving deeper into Biblical womanhood!

The Truth Is...

Biblical submission to my husband was a hard thing for me to grasp. The poor man suffered through several years of marriage until I read a book that really convicted me (A Woman After God's Own Heart, by Elizabeth George). Then I started really taking a look at God's Word and my role as a wife, mother, and woman of God. Talk about turning my world upside down! But it has all been for the (much) better.

However, the truth is... while my mind knows it, and my heart embraces it... my flesh STILL rebels against it. It is so easy for me to write things on here about what a blessing it is, things I've learned along the way, tips to help others along the journey... but it is not the complete truth unless I also confess that I do, still, very much at times, struggle. I feel like Paul, who lamented in Romans 7:15 "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate." I still find myself thinking my way is the better way, annoyed by little habits, trying to control situations with the children when he is handling them, trying to manipulate him through attitudes and speaking in ways that are out of line. How shameful it is! That's really the only way to express it - just shameful, and dishonoring to not only Michael, but to the Lord Himself, who gave me this man for me to love and submit to.

So please do not read my blog and think that I must have it "all together" - oh no! I hope I have never given that impression, but in case I have, let me clarify! I am still growing, learning, striving for that crown, that ultimate goal! And each day, as I practice dying to myself, there will be successes and failures, and some things are more painful than others to do away with. But ultimately I trust in the Lord's refining fire to purify me, no matter how much my flesh struggles against it. I long for it! I pray for it! And I ask for your prayers! I pray that I will not be like the man described in James 1:22-24: "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was", but instead the one described in the next verse: "But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does."

I do not want to be hypocritical, which is why I confess these weaknesses here. I am nothing without the Lord, nothing at all, but by His saving grace, He is sanctifying me. And I praise Him for that, even though my praise is such a small thing in comparison.

A Decade

While we mourn with the country on this anniversary of the horrific terror attacks that took so many lives seven years ago, Michael and I also rejoice, for it is our wedding anniversary. And this year is our tenth! I don't know if ANYONE thought we'd make it this far! I must say, our marriage and the love in it is a true testimony to the Lord, as there was nothing we did or could have done of our own effort to have it come this far and be the wonderful relationship that it is today. But God is so good, and can make beauty out of messes :-)

We had known from very early on after meeting eachother that we wanted to be married. Only a year after we met, we jumped in! I was 18, he was 19... and we had no idea of all of the things marriage entails and requires - it was an uphill battle from the start! But after 10 years, I can look back and say many, many good things. One is that its been a blessing to "grow up" together. I have watched Michael change from boy to man, from one whose main focus was serving self to one whose main focus is serving God and his family... and he can say the same for me! I knew absolutely nothing about being a wife - nothing about keeping a home, nothing about submission, nothing about self-sacrifice, and I was a baby Christian, new in my walk with the Lord. Another thing is being able to see how wonderful things are NOW. So many marriages deteriorate over time, while ours has done the opposite - truely blossomed as it has matured. I am so thankful! And above all else, I can see the hand of God, and a glimpse of the wonder He can work, over time, through trials and blessings, in the shaping and molding of two people into the image of His Son. How awesome!

I am so excited to see what the Lord has for us in the upcoming years together. We get to lead and watch our children grow, and continue to grow together and with the Lord... what else could I ask for?

Here are some pictures from our small, but perfect, wedding:

This picture is from our honeymoon, and it makes me laugh, because it really shows how YOUNG we were, lol! I don't have one of me from the honeymoon - I'm always the one taking the pictures, its rare to get one with me actually in one.


We don't have any grand plans for today, but it should be alot of fun anyway! We're starting out the morning by meeting friends at Stone Mountain Park, for a homeschool field trip and then a picnic. This evening my generous sister-in-law has offered to keep all of the children overnight for us, so we'll be dropping them off and enjoying dinner and a movie. In the morning tomorrow, after sleeping in with no little ones to wake us, we'll enjoy breakfast out somewhere, and then pick up our brood and spend the day together. I couldn't ask for more! I think just sleeping in will be the most exciting part, lol!

1 Corinthians 11:8-9

I am listening to a teaching CD entitled "Becoming Your Husband's Helpmate" by Beverly Bradley from Family Ministries (I have been so blessed by many of their materials, please do check them out!) She made a point that really brought home something for me. I have read and re-read the scriptures about the roles of a man and a woman in marriage, as it is my goal to serve the Lord through my role was wife and mother. I don't always succeed, but it is my heart to do so! The amazing about scripture is that it is alive - verses that have been read a hundred times can suddenly become more real than ever when God reveals Himself to you through them.

She said to read 1 Corinthians 11:8-9...

For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man;
for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.

After this, she said look at 11:9, and put YOUR man's name where it says "man":

for indeed Michael was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for Michael's sake.

Then she said, now, put YOUR name where it says "woman":

for indeed Michael was not created for Erin's sake, but Erin for Michael's sake.

All of the sudden, this scripture became real to me! For some reason, its so easy to read something and look at it from a distant outsider's perspective... but just by making it personal with our names, suddenly, I see!

I have a distinct purpose, a reason for my very creation! The boys have a book called "I Was Born to be a Brother"... and I now have a renewing of the fact that I was "born to be a wife"... but not just "a wife" - Michael's wife. What a blessing! How exciting! The Lord knew in his foreknowledge that Michael would exist, and knew that he would need a suitable helper, and thereby appointed me with this task, while I was still being formed in the womb. Amazing!

With this personalization, I also have a deeper understanding that by serving Michael, I am fulfilling my calling in the Lord. What direction and purpose He gives us!

I will confess that this has come at just the perfect time (God is always good like that!). I have struggled recently with selfishness and a bad attitude, giving Michael a very difficult time of things while I focus on "me" and what "I want". But that is not what the Lord wants from me. It is not my job to be my husband's Holy Spirit or to lead him to a higher level of righteousness... only the Lord can accomplish that. My responsibility is to demonstrate the love Jesus has for Michael, through loving him as a wife.

I praise God for His infinite mercy and wisdom!