I am not, by nature, a weak person. Growing up, the areas in my life that were weak, I compensated for by putting on a tough facade, or through rebellion. I don't like weakness. I am stubborn and strong willed, determined and motivated. I am fiercely independent and will not ask for help, and it is difficult for me to accept help when offered. I am woman, hear me roar!
But... as much as that works to get by in the world, that does not work with God. He has been showing me this - and it has not been fun! The first trimester in my pregnancy with Judah was the hardest of all five... and this postpartum time has also been the most difficult. I struggle daily, with just the basics of serving Him, keeping my home, mothering my children, and of course, being a helpmeet to Michael. I have had to confess my weakness time and time again - DAILY! - going to the Lord for His help, as well as relying on Michael and others even more, as well.
And I'm learning that this is exactly where the Lord wants me. Not hindered in such a way that I am useless to Him, but He needed to break me down so that I can understand how warped my image of strength is. My strength cannot be conjured up from the inside, as I've always tried to do. A facade of strength just doesn't work - being tough, independent, and strong willed doesn't get me through my day of loving my children and husband tenderly! My only strength comes from Him, and the only way His strength shows itself perfect is through my utter weakness! What a strange concept this has been for me to grasp!
Now, I am able to take comfort in being hopeless and helpless. Why? Because He promises to always be with me in my helplessness, and to provide me with His perfect strength. Not of my own effort (as He has taught me that my own effort is utterly pathetic), but in His abounding mercy and grace He meets me in my brokenness, loves me, and gives me life abundant! It is OK that I fail, it is OK that I am inadequate, it is OK that I am weak... for He is the perfect one, and it is through Him that I find all that He has for me! And that is where He wants me - fully surrendered and dependent upon Him. It is only there that He is truly my Lord and Savior. I am nothing without Him, and can now clearly see this. When people remark "How do you do it with 5 kids?!" I can say, truly and honestly, "Only by the grace of God!"
...but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."
1 Corinthians 1:27-31
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
Psalm 118:14
1 Corinthians 1:27-31
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
Psalm 118:14
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2 comments:
Isn't it interesting how God can turn things upside-down! Through weakness, strength is perfected! As much as we hate to be weak, implicitly, it is almost commanded of us. I remember Paul's revelation:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Jeramy has told me many times that God will always give us more than we can handle so that we might fully depend upon Him for his grace and He receives all the glory for it, when it's done with humility and joy. I'm still learning to fully depend on our Savior also - and will until I die. All our sufficiency is bound up in Christ, who is all and over all and in whom all things find purpose and meaning.
So true, Erin! Thanks for the heartfelt post. <3
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